New Beginning

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New Beginning

This is a commissioned painting that I did for a young woman that I watched grow up from a young girl into a beautiful (inside and out) woman.  She is now a mother of the most adorable little baby girl, now one year old.  I enjoy painting wedding pictures, as they are so precious; full of excitement of a new journey through life together, and wonderment of what’s to come.

I have been married (and soon to be divorced) twice now.  It is not how I had envisioned my life, and there are times where I can’t help but think, “what is wrong with me”.  What could I have done differently…what could I have said that may have changed the course of the life of me and my partner.  In my limited wisdom from both age and experience, I now believe that there are a million answers to those questions.  I wasn’t perfect, my partner wasn’t perfect, and ultimately, not one person, but in fact, both are to blame for the untimely demise of our relationship.  Hindsight is always 20/20, and that’s because we often see what we refused to see when we were together with that person.  It’s always easier to blame the other person, but the truth is, in my humble opinion, that there is always some blame on both parties.  I won’t go into the details of how my marriages dissolved, but as a wiser person, who truly tries to learn from my experiences, I think that in both cases, we simply grew apart.  We “allowed” ourselves to grow apart.  It’s tragic and sad, especially when there are children are involved.  But, one must hope that they can pick up the pieces, learn from the past, and continue their journey into the future.  That’s what I have done, and I have to say that I am happier than I have ever been.  I have a wonderful man that has been in my life for the last nearly three years, and because we have both been married, I believe that we don’t have unrealistic expectations or fantasies about what a relationship should be.  We have taken our experiences to heart, and  together, we appreciate the relationship that we have, still appreciating our previous experiences.

I went into my first marriage very young (just turned 19) and had unrealistic expectation of what marriage would be.  I was still very much a child, so I was literally growing-up as I was first experiencing my role as a wife.  Not the best combination to ensure a lasting marriage.  Top that off with the loss of a child, parents (on both side) and other stressful situations, and you have the perfect recipe for a failed marriage.  Sure, if I could go back, I would change many things, but on the other hand, I may not have changed a thing, as it led me to where I am today.  I am happy, in love, doing what I love (watercolor painting).  I have beautiful, happy, adult children, and grandchildren.  I have many blessings in my life and I truly wouldn’t change a thing.